Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, let's talk about sex!
Lately some of my readers (who don't repost my blog) have asked me to be a bit more sexually open. They have asked for me to be more like I am in person. Well, don't be mad because you asked for it!
Today's music is very sexually explicit. Sometimes I like it and sometimes I don't. For the most part I will be listening to the lyrics of rappers and rock artists alike and wondering where these mothafuckers got the idea that they will rock my world in bed. I dare them to try (really Drake you can try anytime). What really gets my panties all in a bunch isn't just the rappers, it is the young jits who come to the club and think that by dancing and singing along to these lyrics they suddenly possess the power to make ladies "pop that pussy for a real nigga." Nigga pleassseee. You do not possess Lil Wayne's black card, and I know you are not good enough to satisfy me so pleeaaasee do not approach me. Grabbing, squeezing, and pulling are also things you should not attempt to do to me if you are a stranger. Aggressive actions, such as those I just mentioned, only make me think you are an aggressive rapist and I want nothing to do with you. ;-)
And then come the athletes. I may or may not have dabbled in the fine art of athletics in my past. For the most part, stealth and longevity do an athlete well. There is sufficient muscle tone and an overall satisfaction rate of 90%. However, you athletes out there are not created by the beard of Zeus. If I had your physical capabilities and practice I would dominate my partner in bed. Maybe I wouldn't just engage in the activities with the attitude of someone who doesn't have to try, instead I would master them like I do my sport. Most people know that athletes are addicted to porn due to so many hours of travel and Tiger Woods so try to learn a lesson or two while you are at it. Through my extensive research I have found that in the game of sexual activity it still remains Cass - 1 Athlete - 0.
Now, you every day Joe six packs are not off the hook. After many years of girl talk I have heard some horror stories about you "gentlemen." Don't get me wrong, there are some nasty females out there and they need to check themselves before they wreck themselves, but I'll save that for another day.
Here are some don'ts for you guys; do not skip foreplay, do not forget to wash, do not smack a girl's ass more then 3 times consecutively, do not lightly pull our hair (pull it hard), do not tell us what to do when we are already doing it better than you expected (duh), do not use baby talk, do not compare us to your exes, do not keep your socks on, do not let your sweat drop onto our foreheads, do not dead weight us like a dying wrestler, do not be afraid to take charge, and finally do not force anything (instead use lube, not water, when needed). Here are some do's for you guys; do talk dirty, do take it slow sometimes, do teach the willing to be better but do it politely, do play sexy time music, do play with our hair when we are down there, do use toys when appropriate, do undress us, do wait for us (selfish), do use multiple positions but not every 2 seconds, do use your fingers and do it well, do ask us what we want, do try new things, do find something that works and stick with it, and finally do be rough and do have a big penis (lol).
There, I feel relieved I got all of this built up information out there into the viral world. Thanks to all those in the past who have got me to where I am today, and that is way better than you.
