In The Year 2012

As the year 2011 comes to an end, it is only natural to take a look back and reflect at the years events. My past year is filled with growth, change, and the inevitable disappointment. It is impossible to find achievement without disappointment; therefore, I say, "Bring On The New Year!"

Although I  agree resolutions are a great way to set goals in motion, I have never made a resolution myself. I am not planning on starting in the year 2012 either. Instead, I can only hope to learn from my mistakes of this past year and move on into the future with more knowledge and experience than the last. It has occurred to me that I may be experiencing a quarter life crisis. Routine and structure have become mundane to me and I am constantly on the hunt for new adventures. Sometimes we let the notion of achieving goals and having fun simultaneously seem impossible. In the year 2012, nothing is to be impossible.

Two days ago, (New Years Eve Eve if you will) as I was applying my eye makeup in the mirror and I had a sudden epiphany. There are 365 days in a year, (usually) and out of those 365 days North Americans for the most part only allow themselves one to two weeks of vacation time. Out of all those days in a year, we have to SCHEDULE our fun. That kind of life will never be for me. Therefore, I hereby dedicate the year 2012 to the year of pure pleasure. Now some of you may be thinking that will be hard to accomplish with work and school, however, I intend to make it work by having a positive attitude towards all my endeavors. It does not have to be extravagant pleasure, sometimes just the small dose that is needed to keep the stimuli happy (wink wink).

Family and friends will come first and above all in the year 2012. Goals will be set and made with the help of my positive attitude. I will travel and experience the great big world that is out there waiting to be embarked on by yours truly. Most importantly, I will gain respect and love from those who deserve it.

Until the new year arrives, the most important question will always be, who are you kissing for this New Year's Eve?

Alcohol Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

A common practice around the world is to engage in an alcoholic beverage from time to time. We cheers in good times, and we toast in solemn times. "To eat, and to drink, and to be merry" - Ecclesiastes 8:15. Probably the only thing meant to be taken literally from the Bible. The fifth Precept in Buddhism is to refrain from intoxicants in order to avoid heedlessness. From this precept I take away that in my rightful mind and willingness to obtain Nirvana, I will have to stop drinking. I am clearly not ready. The same beliefs are held in Hinduism. In Islam it is clearly forbidden to drink alcohol. Yes, throughout the world alcohol exists and it is our choice to enjoy it, abstain from it, or abuse it.

In my opinion, alcohol was discovered and therefore I have an obligation to try it on my own in order to find out if its right for me. So far, I have taken my nights out drinking, (those that I can remember), and used them as learning tools. "Making bad decisions" as most of my friends have labelled it. Personally, I call it allowing my inhibitions to explore themselves.

The other night, I returned home from a night of drinking and found myself in deep thought. I thought about relationships past and future relationships. I deeply considered my surroundings and whether or not I was happy. For the most part, I am happy. I have no major health issues, my family and friends are are well and merry and no one is starving or poor. I am grateful. On the other hand, I am never satisfied and alcohol makes me oh so aware that I have a void that needs fulfilling. (Insert "that's what she said" here.) As I have expressed before, I am a hopeless romantic and a passionate person. When I find something I want I go for it. There is no holding me back. So, what do I do....I drunk text!
I will drunk text or call my interest; maybe, I'll write an email if I'm feeling frisky. What I would much rather do is buy a plane ticket or jump in a cab or find some other dramatic form of transportation and find my way to my Lover as soon as possible so I can make sweet sweet love to him, (or her depending on how many drinks I've had).

Yes, these are the thoughts that flow through my mind when I have been drinking and I am feeling nostalgic. However, would I have said those things to my love interest if I had not been drinking? No. Would I have had the courage to call him after all this time had passed? No. Would I have had the nerves to tell my crush how spectacular he was and how I couldn't wait until we were married? No. Probably should not have said the last one but again, letting my inhibitions go.



If there is one thing I know, I know my alcohol. I know people who have been drinking alcohol and their behaviour on alcohol, (bartending, 101). I have been witnessing this kind of behavior for a very long time and I know that the truth comes out when under the influence of alcohol. So I say, if I have nothing to hide, let the truth be told.

Drunk Girl: "I like you... but I'm drunk don't listen to what I have to say."

Not So Drunk Guy: "I like you too! Come over."

LOL

There, whats the worst that could happen?

In Your Eyes

Let me begin by saying sometimes it is ok to be Cliche, and apparently to rhyme.

Change is coming. Our society is barely surviving in our very own economic depression. Occupy Wall street is proof Americans still have a voice and are not afraid to take the streets and create change. Marriage is just a word and nothing more.

What remains the same?

Love for 80's flicks duh! Where do I start? Oh I know, anything Molly Ringwald. The most popular classics Pretty In Pink, The Breakfast Club, and my favorite Sixteen Candles. Sixteen Candles can solely take the blame for the boyfriend I chased in high school. The handsome Michael Schoeffling portrays "Jake Ryan," the dreamy popular rich kid in school who is intrigued by Molly for being so unnoticed (Cliche #1). Jake is a hot rich jerk with a soft side??

Oh yea...Long Duk Dong is awesome!

I am still waiting for my cake/candle/table moment.

What would the 80's be without John Cusack? Empty that's what! A large black void in the universe. Better Off Dead, Sixteen Candles, Stand By Me, Grandview U.S.A., One Crazy Summer, Hot Pursuit, and obviously one of my favorites, Better Off Dead are Cusack's most popular 80's hits.

Where is this going?

The love for 80's movies will never change, and never will romantic needs and urges.

I want my very own Lloyd Dobler and I think every girl between the ages 24-35 would have to agree with me. Settling is something most people come to terms with as they get older. Maybe women in particular as we look for security. However, in the back of our minds, we are waiting for Lloyd Dobler and his giant boom box to show up outside of our window and play;

 He is not the best dressed, he is not rich, and he doesn't have a nice car. What he does have (other then being John Cusack) is passion and spontaneity. I truly believe that any girl (or guy) worth having would be willing to take a risk and make a change without knowing the consequences if it meant getting the one your heart desires. Yes, I am a hopeful romantic, but I am not naive to the world and the disappointment it holds. Even after this realization, I have decided never to settle again, for the benefit of my happiness and future.

P.S.....the 80's were weird.

C'est L'Halloween

      What may be my favorite holiday is right around the corner.....Halloween! The holiday is most commonly descended from the Celts who once lived in present day Ireland and believed October 31st was the night where the living crossed with the dead. We are not so far and between today are we? Ever since I was a little girl I looked forward to the very special day of the year where I could dress up as anything or anyone I wanted to be. From a very round clown to Charlie Chaplin, I was allowed to express myself through the costume and persona of someone else.



      As I grow older, I realize Halloween becomes the acceptable holiday of sexual expression. It has morphed in perspective from being someone I want to be, to someone I am not supposed to be. For the past six years I have portrayed; slutty school girl, slutty nun, slutty school girl again, not so slutty Geisha, slutty Daisy Duke, and slutty Raggedy Ann.


      
       Halloween is the one night of the year where age does not matter. North Americans will forever dress in costumes, circle around a keg, and hunt through the crowd to find the masked stranger secreting the right pheromones. Personality seeks through those masks and the thrill of a complete stranger dressed up as the Burger King for example can create an exciting rush. Party after party new characters enter the scene and drink and dance as strobe lights flicker in the background. Gorillas walk by with Snooki and give the head nod of approval.


      
       Overall, I know the age is getting younger and younger where girls feel obliged to wear less on Halloween and that I do not consent to; however, for us grown ass adults who are open enough with our bodies and imaginations I say "Trick-or-Treat!"

TREAT =

A Reading From The Bible

Does true love exist? I used to believe so. The "Bible" led me to believe not. Not the bible you are used to reading about. I am speaking of the Bible written for and about women. SEX AND THE CITY. This show has not deterred me from believing in Love, but it has helped me realize love is a word and a timely emotion. It will come and go.
A reading from Carrie Bradshaw;

Carrie: "Everywhere I looked, people were standing in twos. It was like Noah's upper West Side rent-controlled ark." - "Bay of Married Pigs"

This is Carrie speaking of the relationship epidemic throughout Northern American. Has it become so standard of a man and a woman in their twenties and older to be engaged in a serious relationship? Has society shunned those of us who choose to be single and successful? I think so. Women in general are doomed to a life without happiness unless a man is involved or controlling our future.
A reading from Miranda;

Miranda: "How did it happen that four such smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It's like seventh grade with bank accounts." - "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"

Is it not true that when we strong independent women get together we have nothing better to talk about then when we are going to get married and to whom? Pathetic. Has he proposed yet? When is he going to do it? I think it comes down to when are we giving up on our wild social behavior and ready to commit to one person and a routine life. Not necessarily a bad thing, but definitely grounds for some shunning.
A reading from Carrie:

Carrie: So what are we going to do? Sit around bars, sipping Cosmos and sleeping with strangers when we're eighty? 

Well why not? When all the rest of the world is out there proclaiming they have found true love and then run home to their thoughts of the life that could have been, I will choose to accept the facts. Life is about choices and bettering ourselves. We all die alone anyways.
A reading from my favorite prophet, Samantha:

Samantha: Well, I don't know how you people do it. All that emotional chow-chow. It's exhausting.

And of course the Charlotte hopefuls:

Charlotte: “Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”


Anyone who knows me well knows I am a hopeless romantic. I have loved and lost. Now I choose to see opportunity and take it. And so is life....



P.S.
Mr. Big is an asshole

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

Hello, My name is Cassandra and I am addicted to my laptop. I am addicted to social media, and I am addicted to texting on my cell phone. Being 25 years old I am very comfortable with admitting my surroundings and how easily I adapt to them. Give me 5 minutes with a new device including a hard drive or a data base and its over. But hey, that is just the way our generation works right? Life revolves around social media, or rather, we revolve around it.

Furthermore, there is a matter that needs to be addressed that has puzzled me from the beginning of the creation of this phenomenon.

Why oh why do men love to give and receive pictures via text/email/skype or any other social media? Not only does the action of taking the pictures seem uncomfortable to me (Yes, I have given in) but what would do you do with such a picture after you receive it? This is an honest question. Please, let me know if I am alone in the bewilderment of what could possibly be done with a picture the size of your palm. The obsession of show me, tell me, send me has even taken down senators and role models (i.e., Brett Favre).

Drunk texting and being flirty is a favorite past time of mine. Admitting I have sent and received a picture does not make me a hypocrite, I just like to play the game and see where it goes. To be honest, I now consider it research. So far, this is what I have learned.

Me Tarzan. You Jane. Tarzan want naked picture. Jane send Tarzan picture. Jane sit and wait for a reaction. Tarzan say, "that nice."

What the hell was the point of it? Where does the very exposing, private picture go? Is it in the secret vault only men know about where there are millions of half naked girls floating around in cyberspace?

Even worse, men sending pictures of their uglies. Come on man, do you really think a close up of that thing is appealing? Receiving a picture of a man who has nothing better to do with his time is not exactly a catch in a woman's opinion. This does not include a confident man who is looking well and decides to take a self portrait. But sending your junk through the mail, SMH! It is honestly a horrifying experience to look down at a cell phone, open a text, see an attachment has been sent, and then BLAM! Penis in the face. WHY???

For the sake of maintaining some public decency people, let us keep it in the bedroom or at least in person from here on out.

Where Is The Love?

Wouldn't it be nice to have the simplicity of these lyrics back in our society? The simple suggestion of holding hands went a long way. There was so much left up to the imagination, which is most of the fun in my opinion, and holding hands was just a gateway.

Now, Kelly Rowland describing getting it in is considered a love song. Don't get me wrong, it definitely gets the point across. "You're almost there, you can do it I believe in you baby." What is she, a cheerleader? Everyone has sex, everyone is a bit perverted, it's inevitable. It is just a shame that we skip right over the romance and flirting stages now to get what we want. I believe it will only make the fun and excitement fade faster. I want music that sounds like this:

I don't care who you are, what race you are, when you hear Al Green and his smooth serenade you get excited. Throw some Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding (without Jay-z & Kanye) and some Diana Ross out there, and you are guaranteed a good time. If the children of the future are deprived of real soul and romance then there is no telling what young woman are going to be subjected to. There is no imagination, only expectation. At least we have artists like Adele, Sade, Norah Jones, John Legend, Eric Clapton still performing and writers like Babyface and Richard Marx still composing. Bring back Luther Vandross, Motown, Bob Marley and the heartfelt "one good thing about music, is when it hits you, you feel no pain," to music, please! Ladies and Gentlemen, this is music:

Who Says?

   (Yes, it's John Mayer. Press Play and Read!)                                                            

Do you ever just sit back and think, "wow, everyone I know is full of shit?" Don't get me wrong, I surround myself with some amazing intellects. However, in the greater scheme of things everyone is just full of shit. Why do we plead and beg our friends and family to give us advice on the world and the endeavors we are about to embark on, when they are in equal or lesser shape than we are? I suppose on some aspect it is therapeutic to banter back and forth with close friends on personal issues that need resolving. For the most part, I am beginning to think I am better off figuring it all out on my own. There is no one else to blame in case of a disastrous outcome, and no one else to congratulate when things fall into place. Me, Myself and I. Give me three beers tonight and I might be singing a different tune, but I have decided at this moment I am alone in the world.

Companionship is nice and greatly appreciated, I get it. It just seems that when we are asking our peers for their opinions, we are going to be unhappy until they tell us exactly what we have already decided. Think about the last friend who cried on your shoulder, or vice versa; tell me you didn't walk away from the conversation feeling unresolved.

I GUESS what I am trying to say is, unless it has to do with the Internet, their are no original thoughts out there. Whatever I am searching for, I will probably find within. A good friend told me to smoke a joint and let the wheels turn. Sometimes, it's needed.

Friends.....go find yourselves.

Kings of Leon or Lil' Wayne? (Title Pre-Cancellation)

This week is a busy week for concerts. I have my Kings Of Leon tickets for Tuesday night already purchased. I have attended their concert once before and needless to say, they have made it into my all time top ten list (live that is). Leaving the KOL show I attended, most people were buzzed, if not hammered. From what I can remember, my friends and I jumped into a limo where there was plenty of vices to choose from, I stuck to booze; I do not like objects or powders in or around my nose. I could sense something had changed. Kings of Leon and their music were infused in our mood and attitudes. We had become the rock stars. Our Limo took us out on the town as we screamed, drank, kissed, and danced. Then we were home, a house filled with friends, who had to decide whether to go back to normal or let the night live on. I saw the morning light as I locked myself in a bedroom, afraid of a friend who decided to bring his gun to the party and wave it around like he just didn't care. The next morning I woke up, dazed and confused. The thought of going back to a simplistic existence was just unsettling, but to each their own. Overall, good times.

Here's my dilemma.

Wednesday night is the Lil' Wayne Concert. ..................................................

HOLD THE PHONE! This just in.

Kings Of Leon cancel U.S. tour because Caleb is drunk. A lot. (The above paragraph was written on July 31st. One day Before KOL cancelled U.S. tour.)
I have re-read my statements. I am disappointed that I had considered returning to my safe, happy, normal existence as "unsettling." I hope Caleb gets help for not being able to control shit thrown in his face. Mad genius or drunk douche?

I will be purchasing Lil' Wayne tickets shortly. Obviously, he has his head on his shoulders! (Please hear my sarcasm).

A Few Good Men

Alright, you want the truth? You can't handle the truth! I have been approached by numerous people (Douchbag friends), who have expressed their constructive criticism on my blog. Although no one wants to admit they are avid readers of the Midnight Marauder, they still feel provoked to advise on my commentary. I feel obliged to please the public. I have spoken nothing but the truth throughout my expressions and I promise never to sugar coat anything in the future. My nature is realized only through the truth and every action I have ever processed.
        Thus, this blog is dedicated to you gentlemen. Thank the heavens above you were placed here on earth to grace women everywhere with grief.

See also: affliction, agony, anguish, bemoaning, bereavement, bewailing, care, dejection, deploring, depression, desolation, despair, despondency, discomfort, disquiet, distress, dole, dolor, gloom, grievance, harassment, heartache, heartbreak, infelicity, lamentation, lamenting, malaise, melancholy, misery, mortification, mournfulness, mourning, pain, purgatory, regret, remorse, repining, rue, sadness, sorrow, torture, trial, tribulation, trouble, unhappiness, vexation, woe, worry, wretchedness.

Now, do not get me wrong, I love a great day/afternoon/night out with a fun, smart, gorgeous man. However, such a man is rare in form and on the brink of extinction. Even when this distinctive man is discovered it is not long until either A; a woman becomes completely void of all feelings she once had towards him due to his slow detrimental demise of self respect. Or B; said man decides to treat all woman as equal "sluts" because that is all woman stand for. Either way I suppose relationships in general are doomed due to the lack of chivalry and respect amongst our generation.

 All I want to ask is why do "men" walk and talk with this undeserving sense of achievement? It use to be you little pricks would piss in your pants at the thought of approaching a beautiful woman. Forthwith, every ugly, ill mannered, ill dressed, broke ass mothaf*ck#r thinks he can "holla" at a beautiful girl just because they are in the same vicinity. Both sexes are to blame. Women have given up hope and succumb to this  kind of behaviour as their only option.

If you know me at all you know I have very little room to judge based on my very liberal beliefs. I am merely constructing observation. You asked for it, and I thank you ;)

Tropicana Field - Longest Game Ever!

My sisters and I decided to take a trip down to Tropicana Field to see the Rays. (Remember, the Devil was taken out of them a long time ago.) What was supposed to be a good game against the Boston Red Sux turned into the longest game in Rays history. Sixteen innings later, this is what we remember from the game. First off, no one could get the damn ball about 5 inches further to get a home run! Sean Rodriguez hit a pop foul to shatter a light bulb, causing glass to fall onto the field, and the crowd. Joe Maddon got ejected, not so weird, but so did coach Dave Martinez. A chubby Boston fan decided to run across the field close to what should have been the end of the game. That was extra weird because he was a black guy; black guys don't get WASTED and do shit like that. After the game seemed like it would never end, Boston players started rally capping. Some of the Rays players sent for coffee. In the end the Rays lost 1-0. For my entourage and I, we now had to make the 40 minute trip back to New Tampa! Not only has the Trop been losing games for us, it has also become discouraging for a growing community such as New Tampa to travel that far. Either way the experience made me wonder; when the hell are we going to change the Trop!

Moment of Truth

This will be short but oh so sweet. Today I remember one of the greats. We lost Guru last year, but what is left behind will never be forgotten. A true mastermind in the Rap community, Guru would have been celebrating his 50th birthday today. His lyrics, rhymes, and collaborations were some of the most brilliant testaments to the truth. Life is not easy, but the music industry is even worse. Guru never changed his style, just progressed. Please listen, and learn.

Dumb It Down

When every popular song released today is backed by a house or dance beat, it is so refreshing to hear brilliance through lyric and song. Lupe Fiasco is the truth. Smoothly he transitions into our homes, cars, and clubs without selling out. Every lyric is theoretically placed to please the senses while at the same time making listeners stop and think. Although Lupe has already been awarded a Grammy, I believe it is the first of many he will achieve in his career. He is unrelenting in his ability to create great music while proving to the hip hop world you don't have to rap about cars and bitches in order to make it big. If Lupe Fiasco continues to make music, I can still give credit to the rap and hip hop community.

All The Crazy Shit I Did Tonight. Those Will Be The Best Memories....

As I sit at home thinking about how much fun I had dancing at The Castle in YBOR the other night, I begin to think about the elements. A large venue is a necessity because no one likes to be crammed into a tight space with sweaty people pouring their drinks all over you. The DJ must be knowledgeable with just the right range of music; jumping all over the place creates a mood change that is not always enjoyable. The dancefloor should be most comprimising, not discouraging. Everyone should feel at home on the dance floor. Drinking too much can ruin your dance experience (no one likes a sloppy dancer). That being said, a little flirty behaviour never hurt anybody while dancing to the devils music. Great friends and good music usually entitle a good time, along with the random experience to take you out of the everyday grind. Opening yourself up to nothing more than a good time is what life is all about and I never want to stop doing crazy shit because "Those will be the best memories..."

When It Rains It Pours

It feels like Seattle every where I look outside. The rain refuses to stop and I become nostalgic in my thoughts, depressed even. The only thing missing is good grudge music. Where are the bands with doomed lead singers who sing their hearts out instead of crying over girls? Raw talent forced into the industry because there was no denying, "this band's got it." I do not want to turn my radio on during a rainy day and hear Fall Out Boy or Plain White T's, (Hey There Delilah.) Will Kings of Leon be the next Beatles? Or can you only be one of the great one's if your lead singer falls to his or her own tragic demise?

In the Beginning...

I have travelled far and wide and have discovered there was, and always will be, music. It is in our human nature to bang the drum. It is my duty to express knowledge, opinion, fact, and pleasure of Hip Hop, music in general, & entertainment. The entertainment world is ever growing and I intend to be ontop of it and feed my knowlede to the world wide web.

Getting away from the logisitics....Lets get ready to"Shimmy Shimmy Ya"

Check this ish out, come back and tell me what you think!
Yound Dirty Bastard....ya'll won't believe it!