HJ's, BJ's and ZJ's

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Religiousless

Dear God of Facebook,

I am glad you read my Facebook posts because at least once a day I like to update my status to something similar to this;

God is Good,

I Thank The Lord for this beautiful day,

God Bless You,

I LOVE GOD's DICK!!!

    Seriously, where have all you bandwagon God lovers come from and WHY do you think God is reading your Facebook, Twitter, Tumbler or whatever? Now now, before you have a fanatical freak out and proclaim to be a God lover from the beginning this particular blog is mainly for the born agains. There is nothing wrong with having Faith in someone or something you can't see or hear, that is exactly how I feel about Louis Vuitton shoes. I know they are out there, and that one day I might be able to reach them, but for now I just have to have the faith.

    There are a number of people on facebook who feel it necessary to have a daily update on their status to ensure God is involved. Why, I ask, just Why? Is God reading your news feed? Are you trying to annoy people? Do you think you can convert someone through Facebook? Does involving God in your Facebook status make you more righteous and therefore a better believer than others? Are you making it a point to have it known you are a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu or whatever the case may be? Can you still have atheist friends? These are all questions I really would like answers too.

    Some of the Religious Facebookers are/were my friends. I am truly interested in finding out when and where this sudden burst of God love came from. I am not just trying to be a pompous asshole, and please call me out if you think I am one, I am just curious. I know most of my Facebook friends personally. Where and when did the change from the two of us hanging out, having a good time, drinking a few adult beverages, watching some porn, hating on people, and maybe smoking some of the devil's lettuce morph into Praise Jesus?

    I get it. Some people need to turn over a new leaf when they do not like the path they are heading down. God is sometimes on the other side of that leaf, or so I've heard. God is a promise that no matter how shitty your life is, there is a purpose to it. God promises the next life will be better. Well, for your sake I hope he or she is right! However, until then, please keep your status updates about your God and his praise to yourself. No one cares how much you love God. In fact, some people may look at you completely different and choose to unfriend you because you have nothing else to offer other then blind faith.

Thanks for your time once again friends.

*footnote: this blog is all a personal opinion ;-)

Cassandra Hastu

Let's Talk About Sex

    Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, let's talk about sex!

    Lately some of my readers (who don't repost my blog) have asked me to be a bit more sexually open. They have asked for me to be more like I am in person. Well, don't be mad because you asked for it!

    Today's music is very sexually explicit. Sometimes I like it and sometimes I don't. For the most part I will be listening to the lyrics of rappers and rock artists alike and wondering where these mothafuckers got the idea that they will rock my world in bed. I dare them to try (really Drake you can try anytime). What really gets my panties all in a bunch isn't just the rappers, it is the young jits who come to the club and think that by dancing and singing along to these lyrics they suddenly possess the power to make ladies "pop that pussy for a real nigga." Nigga pleassseee. You do not possess Lil Wayne's black card, and I know you are not good enough to satisfy me so pleeaaasee do not approach me. Grabbing, squeezing, and pulling are also things you should not attempt to do to me if you are a stranger. Aggressive actions, such as those I just mentioned, only make me think you are an aggressive rapist and I want nothing to do with you. ;-)

    And then come the athletes. I may or may not have dabbled in the fine art of athletics in my past. For the most part, stealth and longevity do an athlete well. There is sufficient muscle tone and an overall satisfaction rate of 90%. However, you athletes out there are not created by the beard of Zeus. If I had your physical capabilities and practice I would dominate my partner in bed. Maybe I wouldn't just engage in the activities with the attitude of someone who doesn't have to try, instead I would master them like I do my sport. Most people know that athletes are addicted to porn due to so many hours of travel and Tiger Woods so try to learn a lesson or two while you are at it. Through my extensive research I have found that in the game of sexual activity it still remains Cass - 1 Athlete - 0.

    Now, you every day Joe six packs are not off the hook. After many years of girl talk I have heard some horror stories about you "gentlemen." Don't get me wrong, there are some nasty females out there and they need to check themselves before they wreck themselves, but I'll save that for another day.

    Here are some don'ts for you guys; do not skip foreplay, do not forget to wash, do not smack a girl's ass more then 3 times consecutively, do not lightly pull our hair (pull it hard), do not tell us what to do when we are already doing it better than you expected (duh), do not use baby talk, do not compare us to your exes, do not keep your socks on, do not let your sweat drop onto our foreheads, do not dead weight us like a dying wrestler, do not be afraid to take charge, and finally do not force anything (instead use lube, not water, when needed). Here are some do's for you guys; do talk dirty, do take it slow sometimes, do teach the willing to be better but do it politely, do play sexy time music, do play with our hair when we are down there, do use toys when appropriate, do undress us, do wait for us (selfish), do use multiple positions but not every 2 seconds, do use your fingers and do it well, do ask us what we want, do try new things, do find something that works and stick with it, and finally do be rough and do have a big penis (lol).

     There, I feel relieved I got all of this built up information out there into the viral world. Thanks to all those in the past who have got me to where I am today, and that is way better than you.

In The Year 2013

    With another year closing in behind us, it is time yet again to recap the adventures had. Scrolling down my list of blogs to find my recap of 2011, I found that I do not write quite as often as I should, (if you agree you will re-post this blog, NOW). Upon reading my 2011 recap, I was pleased to find that I had accomplished most of the goals I set for 2012; focusing on friends and family, working hard and finding time for fun, and most importantly traveling. At the end of September into the beginning of October, 2012, two friends, my boyfriend and I traveled to Hawaii for two weeks. Those two weeks changed my life forever. For the first week we lived on the beautiful "Green Isle" of Kauai. Kauai is so lush and vibrant, it was like walking through a painting. From hiking and kayaking through the Wailua river, surfing in famous shark filled waters, to jumping off of Queen's Bath into the rockiest waters I have ever been in, the adventures were never ending. And the food! The food is never to be forgotten in Kauai.

                           

    Maui, the "Valley Isle" is like living in a Utopia. It does not seem like it is possible, here on the main land to live in a place where modern society and the good life co-exist. However on Maui, everyone is happy. With the surf and beaches calling your name every morning, Mai Tai's and happy hour waiting for you, sunsets that are to die for, Maui Brewing company/Maui Wowie keeping your senses happy, Maui has to be a future home. The first time I put my snorkel on in Maui and walked off the sand at Airport Beach to immediately swim deep into colorful living coral surrounded by schools of fish, I knew I was home. There is no life in the world that exists that can compare to life in Hawaii. Period.

                                      

 
     Now, with the awakening of Hawaii, I discovered as 2012 was a year of fun and family, 2013 must be the year of fortune. Working towards my goals is fun and all but achieving them I believe will be much more fun. In 2013 my friends and I must be profitable. Everyone I surround myself with is a hard working, each with enough determination to become successful at what they do and what they want to do. This coming year I intend to see not only myself but everyone around me grow and excel to heights we could never imagine. More times than not I speak my actions rather than do them, it is time for change! (Wait, was that last year?) Often times I speak about how much charity I could give rather than actually being charitable. I have already made that change and intend to keep on giving. Even with my misfortunes I am still way more fortunate then most others, and I can make a difference. Whatever I put into the world, the world will send back to me.

Where We're Going.....

 

     Let me be blunt. This blog is only written as a means to unleash my inner thoughts and actions that I keep bottled up more often then not. My close and personal friends, which have come down to very few living here in Tampa, know my true nature and intentions. Many would describe me as; kind, giving, loving, generous, cheerful, and positive. Others scorned would describe me as; heartless, cold, selfish, insane, and an over all bitch. To each their own. I know in my heart all I want is true love and world peace ;-).

A wise man once said;

 

                               "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."

      -Confucius

    My past is meant to be left in the past, and I know that now. For example, if I still thought as I use to in my past, I might get upset that my ex best friend is now dating my ex f**k buddy. For example of course. Or, I might be upset that I haven't yet moved into the career position I expected to be in at this point in my life. However, my common sense and now level headed way of thinking after many a bad relationship have thought me a life lesson that I hope never to forget. I just don't give a fuck. Not in a bitter, "I hate the world kind of way," but in a way that I have never given less fucks in my life. There is no time to dwell over matters that no longer concern me nor will prove to be beneficial to my future. If I have not yet achieved my goal career, that just means I am not working hard enough. Life is too short and I am surrounded by much more interesting and profitable situations then my past experiences to concern myself any further. Henceforth only fun is to be had. Drinking, dancing, concerts, friends, family, fame....I want it all and nothing is holding me back.

    This sense of awakening comes from my ability to see my true worth. Also, I can now see the worth of the people around me. Instead of giving my all, as I always do to each new person that enters my life, I am learning to say no. Now, I can turn my back on those unworthy of my time and effort. Games are for the unsure. This awakening also comes from meeting a worthy adversary. Constant stimulation, affection, rejection, criticism, love, dining, dancing, courting and of coarse, the sex. These are a few of my favorite things.


Find Yours....

Debby Does Florida

Captain's Log:

June 26th, 2012

Tropical Storm Debby is running over Florida on her way to the Gulf. Not only are her winds and rains destroying Florida and all its wonders, it has taken along with it some of the romantic ideas that once engulfed my being. Going through ups and downs is definitely apart of life, however, with the current events going on not only in my own life but in the world around me it is hard not to believe in the end of the World's coming. I used to consider myself the Grand Optimist. Slowly, the harsh realities of inevitable disappointment have become apart of my everyday life. It may be my own doing and my own karma coming back to haunt me, but I refuse to let the world get the best of me.

I am a firm believer in when one door closes, another door opens. There are moments and events in life that have become pivotal in the sense of progression. For EXAMPLE:

becoming engaged.

For as long as I can remember I have imagined and thought about the day prince charming got down on his knee before me and asked me the oh so serious question. At the same token, I have tried my best to resist the urge to have my age be a reason to get married. Let's just say, I now know how strong my will is.

Although the winds are changing, and the the world is shifting, I will stay true to myself. Everyone makes mistakes, and maybe I do more then others, but I will not settle for less than the best. A pivotal moment has finally crossed my path, and I have overcome it. The outcome was not what I expected and my battle wounds will last for sometime leaving behind scars. Appreciating what I had and what I lost won't elude me. My aggressive, reluctant, and stubborn behavior are probably the cause of my own misfortune. However, just like Florida will overcome Tropical Storm Debby, I will move on and venture through the next door that opens.

In closing,
F U Society, I am twenty-six and marriage is not yet in the cards for me! I have been in love, and I will be in love again. I tried to force happily ever after, I tried listening to my peers and what they could only see from the outside. It wasn't right. Not only am I hurt but someone I truly loved is also hurt. Now, I am wide-eyed and ready to see my true fate. I will make my Pinocchio come to life. To infinity and beyond! (If Bieber can quote Toy Story so can I).

Stormy seas ahead.....

It Could Be Nice To Be Alive

Apparently, women around the world are going crazy over the book, Fifty Shades of Grey. Although I admire the fact that women are opening up to explore their sexuality and fitting some reading time in, I have to ask why they need advise from someone who looks like this:

Not that looks have anything to do with sex, (if you have ever had the unfortunate event of watching a "Real Sex" episode you know what I'm talking about). Always being the exception in my group of girlfriends, I have no shame in my game when it comes to talking about sex. I am the Samantha of Sex and the City if you will. Even still, when my girlfriends and I get together over a glass of wine to indulge in recent activities, I find myself wondering why women still allow the double standard to hold them back from indulging in the secret sexual fantasies that have haunted them their whole lives. Immediately, after reading that sentence, I know there at least ten guys out there, (and maybe my mother), judging my morals and assuming me to be a slut. I did not say, "hey, go out there and have no standards (Lennie) and sleep with as many people as possible," I simply mean it shouldn't take a semi-erotic "novel" to open up inhibitions. 

Being twenty-six makes me feel like I am losing all my crazy experiences as I get comfortable in my future career possibilities. I was scared of losing the sex in an elevator, pool, hot tub, beach, movie theater, hammock, hotel room, back seat, library, park, club, balcony, laundry room....ect. days.  Little did I know they were just beginning. Now, when I look at a younger gentlemen, young and constantly horny, I can only imagine how much experience I have on him and how much of a waste of time it would be to inquire on such a young conquest. Then, I look at my older friends and relatives, in their 40's and 50's, and although it is still gross, I realize I have so much to learn and explore when it comes to sex. 

All I am saying is, keep your Fifty Shades of Grey, I'll take my Friday night over that novel any day ;-)

Let us not forget...

                                                                  R.I.P - MCA