Debby Does Florida

Captain's Log:

June 26th, 2012

Tropical Storm Debby is running over Florida on her way to the Gulf. Not only are her winds and rains destroying Florida and all its wonders, it has taken along with it some of the romantic ideas that once engulfed my being. Going through ups and downs is definitely apart of life, however, with the current events going on not only in my own life but in the world around me it is hard not to believe in the end of the World's coming. I used to consider myself the Grand Optimist. Slowly, the harsh realities of inevitable disappointment have become apart of my everyday life. It may be my own doing and my own karma coming back to haunt me, but I refuse to let the world get the best of me.

I am a firm believer in when one door closes, another door opens. There are moments and events in life that have become pivotal in the sense of progression. For EXAMPLE:

becoming engaged.

For as long as I can remember I have imagined and thought about the day prince charming got down on his knee before me and asked me the oh so serious question. At the same token, I have tried my best to resist the urge to have my age be a reason to get married. Let's just say, I now know how strong my will is.

Although the winds are changing, and the the world is shifting, I will stay true to myself. Everyone makes mistakes, and maybe I do more then others, but I will not settle for less than the best. A pivotal moment has finally crossed my path, and I have overcome it. The outcome was not what I expected and my battle wounds will last for sometime leaving behind scars. Appreciating what I had and what I lost won't elude me. My aggressive, reluctant, and stubborn behavior are probably the cause of my own misfortune. However, just like Florida will overcome Tropical Storm Debby, I will move on and venture through the next door that opens.

In closing,
F U Society, I am twenty-six and marriage is not yet in the cards for me! I have been in love, and I will be in love again. I tried to force happily ever after, I tried listening to my peers and what they could only see from the outside. It wasn't right. Not only am I hurt but someone I truly loved is also hurt. Now, I am wide-eyed and ready to see my true fate. I will make my Pinocchio come to life. To infinity and beyond! (If Bieber can quote Toy Story so can I).

Stormy seas ahead.....

It Could Be Nice To Be Alive

Apparently, women around the world are going crazy over the book, Fifty Shades of Grey. Although I admire the fact that women are opening up to explore their sexuality and fitting some reading time in, I have to ask why they need advise from someone who looks like this:

Not that looks have anything to do with sex, (if you have ever had the unfortunate event of watching a "Real Sex" episode you know what I'm talking about). Always being the exception in my group of girlfriends, I have no shame in my game when it comes to talking about sex. I am the Samantha of Sex and the City if you will. Even still, when my girlfriends and I get together over a glass of wine to indulge in recent activities, I find myself wondering why women still allow the double standard to hold them back from indulging in the secret sexual fantasies that have haunted them their whole lives. Immediately, after reading that sentence, I know there at least ten guys out there, (and maybe my mother), judging my morals and assuming me to be a slut. I did not say, "hey, go out there and have no standards (Lennie) and sleep with as many people as possible," I simply mean it shouldn't take a semi-erotic "novel" to open up inhibitions. 

Being twenty-six makes me feel like I am losing all my crazy experiences as I get comfortable in my future career possibilities. I was scared of losing the sex in an elevator, pool, hot tub, beach, movie theater, hammock, hotel room, back seat, library, park, club, balcony, laundry room....ect. days.  Little did I know they were just beginning. Now, when I look at a younger gentlemen, young and constantly horny, I can only imagine how much experience I have on him and how much of a waste of time it would be to inquire on such a young conquest. Then, I look at my older friends and relatives, in their 40's and 50's, and although it is still gross, I realize I have so much to learn and explore when it comes to sex. 

All I am saying is, keep your Fifty Shades of Grey, I'll take my Friday night over that novel any day ;-)

Let us not forget...

                                                                  R.I.P - MCA

I'm Not A Player I Just Crush A Lot

In memory a great rapper out of the Bronx, New York, on the anniversary of his death, I will be  recognizing Big Punisher. Some people are very certain that there is only one true love for each and every one of us out there. Other people, such as Big Pun and I, believe that those believers are "player haters." We are lovers not fighters. I am personally trying to shove this double standard in your face and show you that women are now running the dating game, (Yes, I have a smile on my face while I type this.)

Big Pun was proof that it did not matter what shape, size, or color you are, you could still get your lover on as long as you can spit game. I know both men and women around the world get hyped up when they hear an artist that can rock your world with their lyrics. Artists that can make you say DAMMMNNNN! As has been the case with so many great New York rappers, Big Pun was taken from us too soon. Big Pun was always looking to experiment with his songs, working with a ride range of artists such as The Beatnuts, Wyclef, Joe, Terror Squad, Dead Prez, Noreaga, Prodigy, Busta Rhymes, Ashanti, Remi Martin, and the list goes on.

Back when New York was dominating the rap scene, Big Pun was the creme of the crop. Today we have rappers such as Lil Wayne, Tyga, Waka Flocka Flame bringing a southern feel to the scene. Whatever your preference may be, there is no denying Big Pun changed the game.

R.I.P
Big Pun

In The Year 2012

As the year 2011 comes to an end, it is only natural to take a look back and reflect at the years events. My past year is filled with growth, change, and the inevitable disappointment. It is impossible to find achievement without disappointment; therefore, I say, "Bring On The New Year!"

Although I  agree resolutions are a great way to set goals in motion, I have never made a resolution myself. I am not planning on starting in the year 2012 either. Instead, I can only hope to learn from my mistakes of this past year and move on into the future with more knowledge and experience than the last. It has occurred to me that I may be experiencing a quarter life crisis. Routine and structure have become mundane to me and I am constantly on the hunt for new adventures. Sometimes we let the notion of achieving goals and having fun simultaneously seem impossible. In the year 2012, nothing is to be impossible.

Two days ago, (New Years Eve Eve if you will) as I was applying my eye makeup in the mirror and I had a sudden epiphany. There are 365 days in a year, (usually) and out of those 365 days North Americans for the most part only allow themselves one to two weeks of vacation time. Out of all those days in a year, we have to SCHEDULE our fun. That kind of life will never be for me. Therefore, I hereby dedicate the year 2012 to the year of pure pleasure. Now some of you may be thinking that will be hard to accomplish with work and school, however, I intend to make it work by having a positive attitude towards all my endeavors. It does not have to be extravagant pleasure, sometimes just the small dose that is needed to keep the stimuli happy (wink wink).

Family and friends will come first and above all in the year 2012. Goals will be set and made with the help of my positive attitude. I will travel and experience the great big world that is out there waiting to be embarked on by yours truly. Most importantly, I will gain respect and love from those who deserve it.

Until the new year arrives, the most important question will always be, who are you kissing for this New Year's Eve?

Alcohol Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

A common practice around the world is to engage in an alcoholic beverage from time to time. We cheers in good times, and we toast in solemn times. "To eat, and to drink, and to be merry" - Ecclesiastes 8:15. Probably the only thing meant to be taken literally from the Bible. The fifth Precept in Buddhism is to refrain from intoxicants in order to avoid heedlessness. From this precept I take away that in my rightful mind and willingness to obtain Nirvana, I will have to stop drinking. I am clearly not ready. The same beliefs are held in Hinduism. In Islam it is clearly forbidden to drink alcohol. Yes, throughout the world alcohol exists and it is our choice to enjoy it, abstain from it, or abuse it.

In my opinion, alcohol was discovered and therefore I have an obligation to try it on my own in order to find out if its right for me. So far, I have taken my nights out drinking, (those that I can remember), and used them as learning tools. "Making bad decisions" as most of my friends have labelled it. Personally, I call it allowing my inhibitions to explore themselves.

The other night, I returned home from a night of drinking and found myself in deep thought. I thought about relationships past and future relationships. I deeply considered my surroundings and whether or not I was happy. For the most part, I am happy. I have no major health issues, my family and friends are are well and merry and no one is starving or poor. I am grateful. On the other hand, I am never satisfied and alcohol makes me oh so aware that I have a void that needs fulfilling. (Insert "that's what she said" here.) As I have expressed before, I am a hopeless romantic and a passionate person. When I find something I want I go for it. There is no holding me back. So, what do I do....I drunk text!
I will drunk text or call my interest; maybe, I'll write an email if I'm feeling frisky. What I would much rather do is buy a plane ticket or jump in a cab or find some other dramatic form of transportation and find my way to my Lover as soon as possible so I can make sweet sweet love to him, (or her depending on how many drinks I've had).

Yes, these are the thoughts that flow through my mind when I have been drinking and I am feeling nostalgic. However, would I have said those things to my love interest if I had not been drinking? No. Would I have had the courage to call him after all this time had passed? No. Would I have had the nerves to tell my crush how spectacular he was and how I couldn't wait until we were married? No. Probably should not have said the last one but again, letting my inhibitions go.



If there is one thing I know, I know my alcohol. I know people who have been drinking alcohol and their behaviour on alcohol, (bartending, 101). I have been witnessing this kind of behavior for a very long time and I know that the truth comes out when under the influence of alcohol. So I say, if I have nothing to hide, let the truth be told.

Drunk Girl: "I like you... but I'm drunk don't listen to what I have to say."

Not So Drunk Guy: "I like you too! Come over."

LOL

There, whats the worst that could happen?

In Your Eyes

Let me begin by saying sometimes it is ok to be Cliche, and apparently to rhyme.

Change is coming. Our society is barely surviving in our very own economic depression. Occupy Wall street is proof Americans still have a voice and are not afraid to take the streets and create change. Marriage is just a word and nothing more.

What remains the same?

Love for 80's flicks duh! Where do I start? Oh I know, anything Molly Ringwald. The most popular classics Pretty In Pink, The Breakfast Club, and my favorite Sixteen Candles. Sixteen Candles can solely take the blame for the boyfriend I chased in high school. The handsome Michael Schoeffling portrays "Jake Ryan," the dreamy popular rich kid in school who is intrigued by Molly for being so unnoticed (Cliche #1). Jake is a hot rich jerk with a soft side??

Oh yea...Long Duk Dong is awesome!

I am still waiting for my cake/candle/table moment.

What would the 80's be without John Cusack? Empty that's what! A large black void in the universe. Better Off Dead, Sixteen Candles, Stand By Me, Grandview U.S.A., One Crazy Summer, Hot Pursuit, and obviously one of my favorites, Better Off Dead are Cusack's most popular 80's hits.

Where is this going?

The love for 80's movies will never change, and never will romantic needs and urges.

I want my very own Lloyd Dobler and I think every girl between the ages 24-35 would have to agree with me. Settling is something most people come to terms with as they get older. Maybe women in particular as we look for security. However, in the back of our minds, we are waiting for Lloyd Dobler and his giant boom box to show up outside of our window and play;

 He is not the best dressed, he is not rich, and he doesn't have a nice car. What he does have (other then being John Cusack) is passion and spontaneity. I truly believe that any girl (or guy) worth having would be willing to take a risk and make a change without knowing the consequences if it meant getting the one your heart desires. Yes, I am a hopeful romantic, but I am not naive to the world and the disappointment it holds. Even after this realization, I have decided never to settle again, for the benefit of my happiness and future.

P.S.....the 80's were weird.

C'est L'Halloween

      What may be my favorite holiday is right around the corner.....Halloween! The holiday is most commonly descended from the Celts who once lived in present day Ireland and believed October 31st was the night where the living crossed with the dead. We are not so far and between today are we? Ever since I was a little girl I looked forward to the very special day of the year where I could dress up as anything or anyone I wanted to be. From a very round clown to Charlie Chaplin, I was allowed to express myself through the costume and persona of someone else.



      As I grow older, I realize Halloween becomes the acceptable holiday of sexual expression. It has morphed in perspective from being someone I want to be, to someone I am not supposed to be. For the past six years I have portrayed; slutty school girl, slutty nun, slutty school girl again, not so slutty Geisha, slutty Daisy Duke, and slutty Raggedy Ann.


      
       Halloween is the one night of the year where age does not matter. North Americans will forever dress in costumes, circle around a keg, and hunt through the crowd to find the masked stranger secreting the right pheromones. Personality seeks through those masks and the thrill of a complete stranger dressed up as the Burger King for example can create an exciting rush. Party after party new characters enter the scene and drink and dance as strobe lights flicker in the background. Gorillas walk by with Snooki and give the head nod of approval.


      
       Overall, I know the age is getting younger and younger where girls feel obliged to wear less on Halloween and that I do not consent to; however, for us grown ass adults who are open enough with our bodies and imaginations I say "Trick-or-Treat!"

TREAT =