Sex Ed: The Untold Truth About Having Babies

By now, most of you know that I have a brand new baby girl. She is by far my greatest achievement. That being said, there are a considerable amount of details of parent life that they do not warn you about before you conceive. This blog is my version of Sex Ed for those considering the mommy and daddy life. Please sit back and enjoy a glass of vodka or cup of coffee while you can!

        Let us begin with mommy life. If you are planning to be a mommy you should be prepared to not only devote all of your time to baby but also all of your body. I used to believe that I was in control of my body and its purpose. The little milk sucking zombie that is my baby has taught me differently. My baby can zone in on one of my boobs from across the room and it will immediately ache with the production of milk. She has powers I never knew could exist. Once a boob is in her range she will grab a hold and latch on for dear life, rendering me defenseless.

          When baby is finished extracting the life out of me, she moves to my shoulder where she will expel all of her saliva and vomit on to my skin and clothes. Then the beast must sleep to regain her strength for the next feeding. This vicious cycle is said to continue for at least a year, if not 2.

 Fig. 1 The Beast in its natural habitat

Fig.2 The Beast shows its sharp fangs

            If you are planning to breast feed there are numerous variables to consider. First and foremost, you cannot do any of the good drugs while breastfeeding because they will transfer to your baby. You can plan to pump and dump for at least a week but trust me, you will not want to waste all that hard earned milk. Breastfeeding hurts! I love to read facebook posts and see instagram pics of moms declaring their love for breastfeeding and how it is the greatest gift to humankind. What they aren't telling you (but I am sure they are telling their baby daddy's) is that breastfeeding hurts, and it hurts a lot. Your boobs will ache and swell, your nipples will crack and any small draft can cause them pain. Worst of all they can create Mas Titis, I mean mastitis. Mastits is the clogging of the milk ducts inside your breasts. You will be able to feel bumps on your breasts where the milk is gathering and it hurts like hell. Not all women will have these problems but I guarantee if you ask a majority of women who breastfed they will tell you they have felt the wrath in one way or another. Not to fear, breastfeeding does get better after about a month of delivery as long as you take good care of you and your milk makers.

          It will undoubtedly take you an extra hour to leave your house when you plan to go out. Make sure to have three hours prior to your engagement to get ready. This includes preparing your baby bag, defrosted milk bags for the baby sitter (yes, you have to freeze milk after you pump it because eventually baby will need more than you can provide),  and your makeup bag because you will only have time to do your makeup in the car.

       Enough about moms let's get to the dads. Dad, if you have a steady gym routine don't be alarmed if that goes out the window. Don't be too discouraged because you will eventually figure out how to get your life back. In the meantime, your schedule will have to revolve around mom and baby and when they need to sleep. If mom doesn't get her sleep, you do not get your sanity, so beware. Extracurricular activity such as surfing, snowboarding, smoking, partying and/or sex all have to be on hold until a pattern in the household is created. Patience is a virtue.

        Dads, you do not get enough credit. Not only are you thrown into parenthood without the added nurturing brain cells that moms grow postpartum, you also have to deal with moms and their hormones that are quite frankly terrifying at times. So, cheers to you dad! Crack open a beer and watch the fight, you deserve it!
     
Well I hope you learned something from my version of Sex Ed. If you are to leave this blog with only one piece of information, let it be this: Do not have sex, because you will get pregnant and you will not be able to party or go to Vegas for many years after. You will however gain a small human who will undoubtedly be a way better person than you are today. That little human deserves the very best so try YOUR best to provide him or her with all the love and care you can give. You won't regret it!

Love always.......
Cass
       

You Belong To The City

Today is Christopher Wallace's, (Biggie Smalls, Notorious B.I.G.) birthday. What better way to celebrate the love for a big city then cruising in your car under the shadow of big buildings and street lights, voices in your ears saying "Biggie Gimme One More Chance..." Notorious B.I.G. lived in a concrete jungle and broke out of Brooklyn with no shame in his game. Big belly, black as night, selling rocks, not giving a Fuck gangsta ass rapper. That's the city for you. If you are going to survive a big city you have to own it or it will swallow you up into the night, lost in its flashing lights.

        Recently returned from my hometown of Toronto I am reminded of what life really means. Living here in Tampa, Florida it is easy to slide through the sunny days making my career moves one step at a time with the help from my big sister. It became too easy so I didn't push hard or fast enough. Boys have come and gone knowing they can't keep up. I am not where I should be. Not for long, my visit to Toronto this past week re-opened my eyes. The city is alive, the struggle is real. Young cats on the streets admiring my moves from NY, to Toronto, to Tampa, and now to Maui. What does it all mean if you can't satisfy you inner human instinct to Divide and Conquer. Moving and change will keep me alive, humble and intelligent but going home will make me stronger. Toronto is cold. As much as I would love to move back home and run my streets I couldn't, it's too cold. Much of my existence lives in Toronto, and most of my heart stays with the people that I love and could never live without even if all I have left is their memory. The city ignites a fire inside of me that could only come out when I'm wondering her streets, high on her alcohol content and potent herbs. I love her like a mother who taught me how to love and abandon love when I need too. What's next on the map?

     
          Maui. The Hawaiian Islands are mysterious and filled with legends. Untouched paths and waterfalls flowing into deep caves with black sands. In the middle of the Pacific ocean there is a paradise calling my name. In the middle of those deep blue waters with white sands and palm trees, waves so perfectly shaped for your body to slide right back to shore lies a small city waiting for some new flavor. The city has shaped me, fit for any obstacle that comes my way. A woman of many faces, I will add to the Island without taking away from her natural state and all she has to offer.

Thank you New York, Toronto, Tampa....... Aloha Maui.

Something For Me....Ok And You Too

                                               

 
   
          Tired of being the same old person day in and day out? Is routine inescapable in this corporate America? Ever feel like you are not special, that your mere existence is minuscule in the grand scheme of things? Well more likely  then not those thoughts are true. The majority of the human race, in my opinion, are living their lives wasted getting lost in the shuffle. Am I any different? No, not by any means. However, from the wise words of some of the greatest philosophers of our time, I have decided to "Fight For My Right To Party!" Therefore, I am going to do whatever I want whenever I want until my short time here on this Earth comes to an end. Now, does this mean acting a fool or hurting others along the way without any care of their feelings? No it does not, I did not say I am going to be selfish. Does this mean acting through crazy criminal acts like that movie the purge, (which was a disappointment FYI), of course not I have no intention of deliberately breaking the law (drugs not included).
   
       I am going to live for me and I am sorry to tell you your opinions of me are not going to change my actions. That being said, this blog was a shameful plug to get my photo shoot out into the public without feeling ashamed of my half nakedness. I have recently decided to put myself in front of the camera and see where it gets me. Although I do hope this photo shoot helps my career as a skank, I mean as a model/actress, I really decided to put myself out there because I wanted to feel good about myself. I was at an unsure point in my life and my confidence, which is usually quite high, was at an all time low. I took my emotions and issues into my own hands and I went out and took a chance and I did it for me. I love my photos and I encourage others (that means you) to get out there and do something for yourself.  Although you may be a small spec in this infinite Universe, the fact remains that you deserve to be happy. Enjoy!

Photos both Edited and Raw unedited by www.supernolastudios.com

HJ's, BJ's and ZJ's

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Religiousless

Dear God of Facebook,

I am glad you read my Facebook posts because at least once a day I like to update my status to something similar to this;

God is Good,

I Thank The Lord for this beautiful day,

God Bless You,

I LOVE GOD's DICK!!!

    Seriously, where have all you bandwagon God lovers come from and WHY do you think God is reading your Facebook, Twitter, Tumbler or whatever? Now now, before you have a fanatical freak out and proclaim to be a God lover from the beginning this particular blog is mainly for the born agains. There is nothing wrong with having Faith in someone or something you can't see or hear, that is exactly how I feel about Louis Vuitton shoes. I know they are out there, and that one day I might be able to reach them, but for now I just have to have the faith.

    There are a number of people on facebook who feel it necessary to have a daily update on their status to ensure God is involved. Why, I ask, just Why? Is God reading your news feed? Are you trying to annoy people? Do you think you can convert someone through Facebook? Does involving God in your Facebook status make you more righteous and therefore a better believer than others? Are you making it a point to have it known you are a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu or whatever the case may be? Can you still have atheist friends? These are all questions I really would like answers too.

    Some of the Religious Facebookers are/were my friends. I am truly interested in finding out when and where this sudden burst of God love came from. I am not just trying to be a pompous asshole, and please call me out if you think I am one, I am just curious. I know most of my Facebook friends personally. Where and when did the change from the two of us hanging out, having a good time, drinking a few adult beverages, watching some porn, hating on people, and maybe smoking some of the devil's lettuce morph into Praise Jesus?

    I get it. Some people need to turn over a new leaf when they do not like the path they are heading down. God is sometimes on the other side of that leaf, or so I've heard. God is a promise that no matter how shitty your life is, there is a purpose to it. God promises the next life will be better. Well, for your sake I hope he or she is right! However, until then, please keep your status updates about your God and his praise to yourself. No one cares how much you love God. In fact, some people may look at you completely different and choose to unfriend you because you have nothing else to offer other then blind faith.

Thanks for your time once again friends.

*footnote: this blog is all a personal opinion ;-)

Cassandra Hastu

Let's Talk About Sex

    Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, let's talk about sex!

    Lately some of my readers (who don't repost my blog) have asked me to be a bit more sexually open. They have asked for me to be more like I am in person. Well, don't be mad because you asked for it!

    Today's music is very sexually explicit. Sometimes I like it and sometimes I don't. For the most part I will be listening to the lyrics of rappers and rock artists alike and wondering where these mothafuckers got the idea that they will rock my world in bed. I dare them to try (really Drake you can try anytime). What really gets my panties all in a bunch isn't just the rappers, it is the young jits who come to the club and think that by dancing and singing along to these lyrics they suddenly possess the power to make ladies "pop that pussy for a real nigga." Nigga pleassseee. You do not possess Lil Wayne's black card, and I know you are not good enough to satisfy me so pleeaaasee do not approach me. Grabbing, squeezing, and pulling are also things you should not attempt to do to me if you are a stranger. Aggressive actions, such as those I just mentioned, only make me think you are an aggressive rapist and I want nothing to do with you. ;-)

    And then come the athletes. I may or may not have dabbled in the fine art of athletics in my past. For the most part, stealth and longevity do an athlete well. There is sufficient muscle tone and an overall satisfaction rate of 90%. However, you athletes out there are not created by the beard of Zeus. If I had your physical capabilities and practice I would dominate my partner in bed. Maybe I wouldn't just engage in the activities with the attitude of someone who doesn't have to try, instead I would master them like I do my sport. Most people know that athletes are addicted to porn due to so many hours of travel and Tiger Woods so try to learn a lesson or two while you are at it. Through my extensive research I have found that in the game of sexual activity it still remains Cass - 1 Athlete - 0.

    Now, you every day Joe six packs are not off the hook. After many years of girl talk I have heard some horror stories about you "gentlemen." Don't get me wrong, there are some nasty females out there and they need to check themselves before they wreck themselves, but I'll save that for another day.

    Here are some don'ts for you guys; do not skip foreplay, do not forget to wash, do not smack a girl's ass more then 3 times consecutively, do not lightly pull our hair (pull it hard), do not tell us what to do when we are already doing it better than you expected (duh), do not use baby talk, do not compare us to your exes, do not keep your socks on, do not let your sweat drop onto our foreheads, do not dead weight us like a dying wrestler, do not be afraid to take charge, and finally do not force anything (instead use lube, not water, when needed). Here are some do's for you guys; do talk dirty, do take it slow sometimes, do teach the willing to be better but do it politely, do play sexy time music, do play with our hair when we are down there, do use toys when appropriate, do undress us, do wait for us (selfish), do use multiple positions but not every 2 seconds, do use your fingers and do it well, do ask us what we want, do try new things, do find something that works and stick with it, and finally do be rough and do have a big penis (lol).

     There, I feel relieved I got all of this built up information out there into the viral world. Thanks to all those in the past who have got me to where I am today, and that is way better than you.

In The Year 2013

    With another year closing in behind us, it is time yet again to recap the adventures had. Scrolling down my list of blogs to find my recap of 2011, I found that I do not write quite as often as I should, (if you agree you will re-post this blog, NOW). Upon reading my 2011 recap, I was pleased to find that I had accomplished most of the goals I set for 2012; focusing on friends and family, working hard and finding time for fun, and most importantly traveling. At the end of September into the beginning of October, 2012, two friends, my boyfriend and I traveled to Hawaii for two weeks. Those two weeks changed my life forever. For the first week we lived on the beautiful "Green Isle" of Kauai. Kauai is so lush and vibrant, it was like walking through a painting. From hiking and kayaking through the Wailua river, surfing in famous shark filled waters, to jumping off of Queen's Bath into the rockiest waters I have ever been in, the adventures were never ending. And the food! The food is never to be forgotten in Kauai.

                           

    Maui, the "Valley Isle" is like living in a Utopia. It does not seem like it is possible, here on the main land to live in a place where modern society and the good life co-exist. However on Maui, everyone is happy. With the surf and beaches calling your name every morning, Mai Tai's and happy hour waiting for you, sunsets that are to die for, Maui Brewing company/Maui Wowie keeping your senses happy, Maui has to be a future home. The first time I put my snorkel on in Maui and walked off the sand at Airport Beach to immediately swim deep into colorful living coral surrounded by schools of fish, I knew I was home. There is no life in the world that exists that can compare to life in Hawaii. Period.

                                      

 
     Now, with the awakening of Hawaii, I discovered as 2012 was a year of fun and family, 2013 must be the year of fortune. Working towards my goals is fun and all but achieving them I believe will be much more fun. In 2013 my friends and I must be profitable. Everyone I surround myself with is a hard working, each with enough determination to become successful at what they do and what they want to do. This coming year I intend to see not only myself but everyone around me grow and excel to heights we could never imagine. More times than not I speak my actions rather than do them, it is time for change! (Wait, was that last year?) Often times I speak about how much charity I could give rather than actually being charitable. I have already made that change and intend to keep on giving. Even with my misfortunes I am still way more fortunate then most others, and I can make a difference. Whatever I put into the world, the world will send back to me.